| All Men Are Monkeys the official home page of Granny THIS |
WHY all men are monkeys
IF all men are monkeys, what are all women?
ALL women are Cathy
So you hate men/monkeys?
Absolutely NOT! Otherwise why would I do this?
However I DO know HOW they think, WHAT they
think and now YOU CAN TOO ...
However I DO know HOW they think, WHAT they
think and now YOU CAN TOO ...
More examples of men being monkeys please ...
| This site is dedicated to the angriest lady ever to write to Dear Abby (whose letter I saved all these years) ... |
| Maybe Lois was a little over the top but you've got to admit she had a point. And Granny IS a little mad too because once upon a time before I knew any better ... |
| Q. How come brides still wear white even though they're no longer virgins? |
| A. To symbolize they fact they'll be knee-deep in Ajax and diapers from now on. |
| Q. Can you housebreak the average American Male? |
| Yes! 1. Always clean while he's watching, in clear view and grunt a lot - otherwise he won't notice. 2. Say to him "Honey, while I'm washing your toilet would you do me a big favor and vacuum the floor?" 3. After he's done vacuuming make a fuss such as "Ohmygod the rug looks brand new - what did you do? It looks fantastic!" 4. Q. Granny, why must I do #3? 5. A. Men are used to it. (It's a small price to pay and you can always cross your fingers behind your back if it makes you feel better). 6. Want to know what Desperate Housework is worth if women got paid? See the Googled facts on the chart below or buy the chart on a T-shirt, calendar or mouse pad and make your ungrateful lazy family members feel GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY! Go to Granny's store |
| Granny, why is there DATE RAPE ? |
| Everyone agrees men and women come from different planets. Women (bodies and minds) are complex. Men (bodies and minds) are simple. Conclusion: Men are simple minded- just like monkeys. EXAMPLE: Date rape. FACT: The monkey is clueless about women and at the same time horny. So he watches for any message from a female - no matter how mixed - that he can take as a “yes,” that he’s going to “get lucky,” and/or, “score some poon” and that you are a “sure thing,” and that you two are going to “make cheese,” or “bury the bone,” as they say in France. |
| Of course it’s against the law for a monkey to force himself on a woman – we know that and probably he knows that; but dammit, there’s never a cop around when you need one – especially not in some sports star's hotel room at 4 AM. So what's a smart grrrrl of today to do? Same thing we did in 1959 (updated) ... |
| Wouldn't this list make a great HINT for that Grrrl Gone Wild you did your best to raise? You can have it on a mouse pad, a mug or calendar. Let's go shopping! |
| DON'T Take Your Daughter To Work Day - Don't Even Get Out of Bed! |
| FACT: 30 or so years ago after feminist author Gloria Steinem famously remarked, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” millions of women dumped their husbands and started careers where equal pay was just around the corner. The glass ceiling hadn’t even been invented. Could Steinem have predicted that today an unmarried woman is still five hundred times more likely to die in poverty than a married woman? |
PROTEST!
So this year on “Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” DON'T GO TO WORK, don't even get out of bed.
Maybe it would benefit working women more if we just say no to gyno dollars and let the whole damn office,
movie studio, restaurant, store, school, hospital or factory fall apart without us.
And, after a day spent not taking our daughters to work, let’s get together on our porches and in our
back yards and light up our barbecues and hibachis. Once those fires are crackling, let’s forget about
making dinner for the family.
Instead, let's re-enact an indelible moment from feminist folklore: let's take off our tops and toss our
thick, petroleum-based, foam-filled bustier bras onto the flames! Let them snap, crackle, and
pollute! Let a bonfire of the Wonderbras send out a toxic smoke signal that says: We're
raising a stink because we want the financial equality we were promised thirty years ago and
we want it today!
So this year on “Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” DON'T GO TO WORK, don't even get out of bed.
Maybe it would benefit working women more if we just say no to gyno dollars and let the whole damn office,
movie studio, restaurant, store, school, hospital or factory fall apart without us.
And, after a day spent not taking our daughters to work, let’s get together on our porches and in our
back yards and light up our barbecues and hibachis. Once those fires are crackling, let’s forget about
making dinner for the family.
Instead, let's re-enact an indelible moment from feminist folklore: let's take off our tops and toss our
thick, petroleum-based, foam-filled bustier bras onto the flames! Let them snap, crackle, and
pollute! Let a bonfire of the Wonderbras send out a toxic smoke signal that says: We're
raising a stink because we want the financial equality we were promised thirty years ago and
we want it today!
| Q. Who wrote this shit? A. MillerReport.com |